| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|01:13 pm] |
It never gets easier to leave home...I always feel like I'm leaving everyone behind.
And this break I've spent next to no time with my family, next to no time with my closest friends from both Junior and Senior years...I've spent no time at all with who I meant to spend every waking moment with. Makes me wish as if I had never come home in the first place.
Priorities... they are always backwards. |
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| Ghost of Christmas Past |
[Dec. 26th, 2007|11:46 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | The Times, They Are A Changin' - Bob Dylan | ] |
Well, well, well...here I am. Different computer, same layout that I thought I would never see again, and CERTAINLY never be writing in again. But after talking to a friend, and reading some of what she has had to say, I feel compelled to write something.
Christmas is the so-called "season of love/season of giving/most wonderful time of the year"...
But it also comes with the highest suicide rate. People who feel more alone now and fall into deeper bouts of depression than at any other point in the year. And while some of us are stuffing our faces with fruitcake and Chinese, thinking about the hundreds of dollars that were just shelled out on their behalf and not giving a thought about the rest of the world outside of their small nuclear units, the true meaning of this holiday is lost. It isn't about giving OR receiving, and especially not about the birth of Jesus anymore, that was totally lost when we stopped allowing religious based songs on the radio and instead have to hear Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" fourteen times a day...
Instead, the true spirit of Christmas I think is love. It's appreciation. And most people aren't creative enough to say thank you for all that you do outside of a fifty dollar gift certificate to Best Buy, which also strangely enough says "Look at how much money I have". So with this in mind, I gave to my parents the best gift I could think of this year, the thing that is most valuable to me, rather than what society has deemed the most valuable with a price tag: my time. Time with my family, rather than away from them, as I seem to do be 95% of the time. And to me, there is no better way of saying "Thank you for all that you do" by giving to them what is most important to you, rather than what is easiest and makes you look high and mighty.
Well, there is me on my biased soapbox. I hope anyone and everyone that reads this has had a Christmas filled with love; after all....you're not alone. |
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| Life |
[Apr. 10th, 2006|07:51 pm] |
It makes me sad to think that so many of us are reduced to sitting in front of a computer for so long each day. yet here i sit, awaiting human contact in the form of a machine.
And it also makes me sad to think that people are so weak. That we have to rely on medicane to keep us going...just to extend our lives. Many of our lives don't even mean that much to the broad scheme of the world. Yet we scratch on day to day with nothing but pills and sarcasm to fuel us, all the way up to when we are in our 100's. Maybe we just weren't meant to live this long if it meant living on a liquid diet and not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Watching my mother deteriorate is making me think all this, btw. Don't just think that I'm morbid.
LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG - Darby Crash |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|10:26 pm] |
wouldn't post that, but the guy who got me my first gf was named alex..so i find it kinda weird...even though the fucking haiku doesn't make sense....yea. anyways, im bored..IM me |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|02:11 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | lost in hollywood - SOAD | ] |
life should be like the streets of NY....numbered, easy to follow, organized and all in a straight line.
but until then, i have to deal with the streets of LA....chaotic, tempation everywhere, always losing yourself.
YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRUSTED HOLLYWOOD
i need help....
"God help my poor soul" - Edgar Allan Poe
BANG BANG, GUNS GO BANG! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|08:40 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | the package - apc | ] |
"I am what I'm after, I don't need another friend"
-A Perfect Circle
mkay, maynard james keenan is best lyrical genius in the world...listen to tool and apc...ull know what i mean
I've been listening to Thirteenth Step like non-stop for the last couple of days and that one line stuck out to me alot....because it makes me strive to be everything i'm not....because thats what i take out of that line. i think that we have our friends to make up for the things we lack....kinda like when u are together u make a whole being. well, i want to be what i'm after, so i don't need any friends to do that. cause ive found that once u find someone new, they take the place that an old friend used to fill....take kreutzberger....i like.....never see him anymore (and if u see this alex, we need to hang out dude, i know im a dick, dun let us blow eachother off!!!!!)...and it might just be because someone else replaced the gap he used to fill.....so i don't want anymore friends....but i know that ill get new ones anyways and blow off the old ones, its just the way life goes...and it sucks. so to all of my old friends, i love u. to all of my new friends, congrats, but be prepared to get replaced one day....and to all those friends that are yet to come....be warned, i don't want u....ill take u, and ill love u...but i don't want u....cause i am what i am after....i want to make myself whole.
sean |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2005|01:25 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  thankful | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | Fall Out Boy | ] |
I'm putting this up as an away message and up on my myspace too, so if you read it more than once....thats why:
Champagne for my real friends
Real pain for my sham friends
Thats my way of saying thanks to all of you that are out there to help me whenever I need it and are always there to talk to or pick me up when I'm down. You all are the reason I get up in the morning. And since it's Thanksgiving and all, I figured what better a time than to thank all of you for just being my friend. You'll never know how much just talking to me means to me. Thanks.
Have a happy Thanksgiving!
Sean |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|01:10 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | distressed | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | Tool - Aenima CD | ] |
i find it to be a VERY VERY VERY FUCKING CRUEL IRONY that when my grades are the best they've ever been since FUCKING FIFTH GRADE, my mom still bitches at me about them. and this is BY FAR the lowest point in my life that I have ever gotten to...doing goddamn drug deals out of my fucking car....i hate this shit. i either need help/a girlfriend/best friend that actually cares enough to talk to me about it/heroine/a loaded shotgun....any of those 5 things would be nice.....thank you for your time, i doubt many of you read this thing cause i know i sure don't, which is why i'm actually writing sumthing semi-personal in here...i also notice that i only update when i need help. i feel like that dude in the loan commercials who always has on the smile but is like so in debt and needs help...yea...i feel like him. anyways, im gonna go play some load music with nikola, jesse and david now...post ur comments or call my cell phone (704 942 4527) if u feel like being chatty...i may or may not answer...yea. okay, ill ttyl.
sean |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|10:42 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | Incubus - Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song) | ] |
It is human nature to destroy.
As soon as something good comes along, it must be destroyed, for that is the way of the world. tell me your thoughts to make me feel like my life isn't pointless and someone actually reads this thing |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|11:40 am] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | im sry | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | smashing pumpkins - 1979 | ] |
so in karate weve been doing these pep talks in the beginning of class. and they are based around quotes, a different quote each week. this weeks quote has to do with friendship, and im gonna try and remember it to the best of my ability. "friends will either push you to your dreams or chalk them." chalk is spelled wrong in this context, but im not quite sure how to spell it in other ones. it means to put a stopper on. its one of the huge rubber stoppers they stick behind airplanes to keep them from moving. so its making me think...and unfortunatly its making me realize that some of my friends that i've been neglecting are actually the ones that were pushing me...and the ones that ive been with more now...are the chalks. so im sorry to every1...but somethings are probably gonna change now. just know that i love u all, but i gotta do whats best for myself. thanks.
love, sean |
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| gonna make you all hate me |
[May. 29th, 2005|06:51 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | so lost, but so content | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | good charlotte - we believe | ] |
hey, its me
kno i haven't wrote in a long time...or been myself or who i want to be or whatever. ive changed and today i realized that people change without even realizing its happening...and its up to the people who care about us to stop us from being REALLY stupid...except they change too...at the exact same bloody time. its CRAZY!!!
anyways, i hope that helps enlighten some of u to why ive been a dick lately.
anyways, speed street was good on friday...3 doors down wasn't too bad, and i got to spend time with the ppl i love. nikola and i got bored halfway through and nikola didn't even find pleasure in pissing of rednecks, so we just walked back to nicks car and talked until nick showed up with anja and octavia. then we drove the girls home and drove to the all night HT and bought 5 cans of ravoli, coke, and a huge bag of french fries. we ate, drank and were not very merry as we were tired as fuck. im gonna have to bored trainwatchers or stoppers or whatever the fuck its called from nikola cause the first 20 minutes i saw before i passed out were good. then we woke up at 730...fell back asleep and then woke up again at 845....15 minutes before saturday school started. so we grab the coke..run out to nicks car and drive 60 down sharon road. they drop me off and go on their merry way. then i went home...went back to sleep...woke up...ate...then damir called. he shows up at my house at around 3ish and then we go get angelo, who did NOT die in a plane crash, prior to past belief. so we go to carolina place mall after getting lost for about an hour. we mess around there for awhile, get macdonalds, then go home...angelo chills at my place for awhile, then instead of going to speed street, we go to the scapegoat concert. it was awesome, i got to chill with a few ppl i knew, got to see some of swift too..they rock. then i met a few new ppl, got to kno a few old ppl better...and ran into my old friend from 7th grade who got me my first gf....alex. i miss him. then i went home with damir, we watched pulp fiction and went to sleep. we woke up...damir goes home, i eat and then chill with chelsea after working out shit with alot of people, including her. wasn't the best time ive had in terms of enjoyment...but it was probably the best time weve had together anyways. but now im gonna go eat mac and cheese, watch law and order, call some ppl, and study. then ill pass out around 2 im sure. call if u need me cause i got a cell now....YAY
704 942 4527
also, ull be surprised what u will find enjoyable if u get over previous biases and just enjoy it....enjoy life. for as i learned today, life is a joy, not a burden. plus i also happen to like the new good charlotte song. haha, yea. i happen to like the new song by them. the world is officially ending.
anyways, alot of other shit has happened in the last month or so since i updated this, but i won't get into it now. talk to all of u all later
requiem im pace(sp, sry i dun take latin)
-sean |
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| Suzanne |
[May. 12th, 2005|10:08 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  not really, but i wish | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | kaiser chiefs | ] |
suzanne, ur cool. very cool. so cool ur an ice cube....yea. and the bus is fun. very fun indeed. and ariel (hippy lady) is interesting. and sarahs mom never got that funnel cake. and ur mom does have big boobs, but shes a good cook, cause her soup is awesome. u converted me to watching smallville, but thats ok, cause ur cool. u are the reason i watched napolean dynomite, so im not sure if i should love u for that or hate u. i did like the part where the farmer kills the cow though, that was quite humorous. anyways, ur fun to hang around with and theatre is awesome!!! yay!!! i still need to sign ur yearbook. but thats ok, u need to sign mine too!!!
love ya!
for all of u others reading out there, this is what happens when i get bored at night and suzanne is online and we are talking. but now i must go to bed. peace out
sean |
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| Survey |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|05:46 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | dum da dum | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | Smashed to Pieces - Silverstein | ] |
ABOUT YOU...
||Birth Name|| Sean Patrick Kimbro
||Nickname|| Seany-poo, varies others i cannot stand as well
||Age you act|| 1-100
||Height|| 5' 7"
||Where do you live?|| Charlotte, North Carolina
||Birthplace|| Knoxville, Tennessee
||Hidden Talents|| If i told you, they wouldn't be hidden
HAVE YOU EVER...
||been in love|| Nope
||cried when someone died|| Yea
||fallen for your best friend|| Once, i think
||been rejected| Yea
||rejected some one|| Yea
||been cheated on|| Yes
||done something u regret|| Everyday
||Been In Jail|| Not Yet
||Hit a Boy|| All the time
||Hit A Girl|| Yea, but only at karate
||Broken A Bone|| I think a few toes and my knuckle
|Cheated On a Test|Hell Yea
|Let a friend cry on your shoulder | Uh huh
||Fell asleep in the bath|| Nope
||Walked in on someone changing or showering|| And been walked in on
||Gone to Church|| Yea
||Never slept during a night|| Yea
||Seen someone die|| In movies
||Thought you were in love|| Oh yea
||Screamed at someone for no reason|| Quite a few times
||Stayed up till 4 am on the phone|| Not on the phone i don't think
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX...
||what do you notice first?|| Eyes, Hair, Complextion
||last person you slow danced with|| Dun remember
||worst thing to say|| “Lets just be friends"
||do you have a crush|| Kinda
WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT...
||Bill Clinton|| Big pimpin'
||Love at First Sight|| A dream
||Abortion|| Scrambled baby, anyone?
||Pot|| Pan
||Eating disorders|| Vomiting...doesn't that hurt?
||Rap|| Turn it the fuck off unless its Eminem or DMX
||Marilyn Manson|| All American Antichrist
||Suicide|| Let me help you pull the glock against your head
||Drinking|| Control it, or you might get in over your head...but other than that fun and yummy
||Life|| A lesson learned when your through
||Memory of the year|| Jumping on Frank and killing Mrs. K's 2 dollar plastic bowl, lol
||Food|| Fun to cook and to eat
FAVORITES...
||Favorite movie|| Underworld, The Crow, Final Destination
||Favorite Book|| Smack, by Melvin Burgess, and The Giver by Lois Lowery
||Favorite type of music|| Any kind of rock
||Favorite type of cars|| Fast and eyecatching
||Favorite Saying|| When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party / Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off 'til the day after tomorrow just as well
||Favorite Ice Cream|| Java Chip, White Chocolate Truffle, One Sweet World, Cherry Garcia
||Favorite Alcohol|| Congac
||Favorite Television Show(s)|| Boy Meets World, Law and Order SVU, X Files, Sliders
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU...
||Took A Shower|| Last Night
||Cried|| Dun Remember
||Watched a Disney movie|| Dun Remember, probably should though, been meaning to catch up with my good buddy Kuzco!!
||Received a hug|| Today
THE FUTURE...
||Where you Want To Live|| New York, LA, Paris, Sydney
||How Many Kids Do You Want: 2, one boy and one girl
||What Kind Of Job Do You Want|| Martial Arts instuctor, Music industry, Historian
YOU...
||I want|| Everything to make sense and to serve a purpose rather than purposly serve
||I wish|| Life was simple and everything turned out the way it was supposed to be
||I love|| My friends, each and every one of them
||I miss|| My sanity, but not all the time
||I fear|| Falling, Not making my life have a meaning
Have you ever...
1. Thrown up in public?: Maybe, idk
2. Made someone else throw up?: Yea, hit him in the stomach
3. Held hands with someone?: All the time
4. Hugged someone outside your family?: Oh yea
5. Kissed someone outside your family?: Yeppers
6. Had a makeout session with the opposite gender?: Um, yea...
7. Had a makeout session with the same gender?: A couple of times
8. Done a flip off a diving board?: No, but not for lack of trying!
9. Punched someone?: Everyday almost
10. Been punched by someone?: Everyday almost
11. Lost a friendship over something stupid? Unfortunatly
12. Gotten the friendship back afterward? Since its happened more than once..yes and no
13. Tongue-kissed someone?: Isn't that the same as the make-out question? Yea...
14. Shared a romantic moment with someone? More than once
16. Cursed at your family?: Uh huh
17. Cursed because you could?: Damn straight, lol
18. Done any drugs?: if alcohol is a drug, yea
20. Drank?: More than i should
21. Pissed someone off before?: Yep
22. Accidentally?: Yea, alot of the time...it sucks
23. Purposely?: Uh huh
24. Had unprotected sex?: Almost, but I stopped myself
25. Had a baby ?: Nope
26. Spent money for the sake of spending it?: Yea, i have bad self control when it comes to that
27. Tried to kill yourself before?: Many a time
28. Made fun of somebody out of boredom?: My friends when i'm messing with them
29. Made someone cry?: Yea
30. Been made fun of by someone?: Uh huh
31. Been really depressed before?: Yea
32. Been to a psychiatrist before?: Alot of times
33. Had a really freaky dream?: A few that i can remember
34. Wet the bed?: Yea
35. Faked being sick to miss school?: A couple, but ive tried hundreds of times
36. Actually made yourself sick to miss school?: No, but i did make pancake batter then threw it in the toilet....worked too
37. Had a freaky "fan girl/boy" obsession?: Idk, i did like the Spice Girls alot
38. Been in love with an anime character?: OMG GOKU....hell no, im not that stupid
39. Collected bottle caps?: Not really, kept the cool looking ones though
40. Collected stamps?: Yea
41. Collected cards?: Nope
42. Bragged about something to make someone jealous?: Yea
43. Stolen?: Yea
44. Cheated?: Never in a relationship, but on other things, yes
45. Lied?: When it saves my ass or to help someone else, but i try not to make a habit of it
46. Made fun of a religion?: Haha, yea, but its either my own or i am kidding and everyone knows i'm kidding
47. Laughed at a racist joke?: yea, but thats exactly what it is, a joke
48. Told a racist joke?: yea...it was funny...the black guy i was telling it to thought it was funny, lol
50. Taken surveys like this out of boredom?: Yea man, this took like 15 minutes out of my life that i could have spent masturbating...GOD!!! |
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| Response |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|09:44 pm] |
Well, since the person who wrote that last comment never told me who they were, i thought id update to let that person know sumthing anyways. that response u put up REALLY upset me, and i hope that if that was ur goal, i want u to kno u succeeded. if i offended u in anyway in the past or with that update, im sry. It was meant to be a way for every1 to show all of their friends that they are needed and loved, not as a way of insulting u. i also said in there that i am guilty of not doing it too, and im working to change that. But no where in there did i say that i have a perfect life, and if im always venting on u, i would have thought u would notice that my life, along with every1 elses is far from perfect. so i hope that whoever u are reads this and comes and talks to me next time so that i know who to talk to next time and won't have to bring our problems to the attention of others as i don't feel that is necessary. thank you
-sean |
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| thinking as always |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|06:13 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| | i need to find a hobby | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | omega - stone sour | ] |
by now u will have come to realize that i hardly ever update this unless i have a problem or a question or sumthing along the lines of that. well now i have sumthing that just randomly popped in my head as i was drinking milk and watching an ebaumsworld thing. hardly any1 ever ims me to tell me how good of a day they've had. sure there are a few exceptions, but not very many. most of the time ppl tell me what their problems are and wonder how i can help fix them like i am the perfect drug or sumthing. and no one, and i mean NO ONE ever ims me to tell me they love me for who i am and thanks me for being a good friend. now, i hardly ever do that myself. so im telling u, take the next 5 minutes of ur time, just FIVE MINUTES and tell every1 who is online right now that u love them as a person and thank them for being a great friend. and no one wants to hear about problems all the time, tell ur friends about how good of a day u had or how much fun sumthing u did was (not school, unless ur smoking rocks, but u kno what i mean). because ur friends are their to help u through the thick....but the other part of that phrase is the thin as well. think about it.
-sean |
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| thinking |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|02:56 pm] |
its been awhile since i updated, but after talking with my karate instructor on wednesday night, i have done some thinking. he said that everything must change and change is enevitable. so i was thinking, does this mean that i am forced to change? and if so...what am i gonna change into? so, i was thinking that now, im just gonna accept change. so the next time i wanna:
-smoke: im taking a drag on the cig
-drink: hit me up with some shots
-do drugs: run me out a line of coke
-have sex: fuck me, suck me, squeeze me, blow me
-anything illegal: hehe, fun
so if i gotta change, i guess i better just go with it.
ponder this and get back to me. thanks
-sean |
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| kick ass |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|05:28 pm] |
| [ | my mindset |
| |  devil penguin...that is so me | ] |
| [ | sounds of sorrow |
| | four - lit | ] |
 | You scored as Mindfuck. Congratulations, you scored Mindfuck. You've probably seen a lot of movies, and have grown to hate mainstream shit. You're looking for the movie that will leave you breathless, and with 21 questions to think about. Check out: Donnie Darko, Being John Malkovich, Pulp Fiction, Memento.
Mindfuck | | 100% | Sci-Fi/Fantasy | | 20% | Sadistic Humour | | 5% | Mindless Action Flick | | 0% | Drama/Suspense | | 0% | Romantic Comedy | | 0% | Artistic | | 0% | </td>
Movie Recommendation.
created with QuizFarm.com |
hell yea thats me, the only kind of movies worth seeing. and ive seen 3 of them....go me, whoo hoo. and i actually got that the first time but screwed up and had to fill in random answers to get it back, oh well. anyways, its been awhile, alot of shit has happened since i last updated, and im not gonna type it all but it involves romance, drugs, a huge fight, and illegal driving. if i didn't kno better, id say it was an awesome movie. but its not, its my life...oh joy. anyways, im gonna go chill and shit, watch some DONNIE DARKO, hehehe, gotta love sumthing that fucks with ur mind. i wanna see constantine though. and the dreamers, though confusing, insestuous, pornographic, and french, is a great movie if u get over its sucky ending. it has alot of stuff in it that makes u think. just fast foreward thru all the boobs and penises and vaginas. and i want to see constantine. anyways, now im off of my movie soapbox and im gonna go chill, peace.
-sean |
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severed_vein's journal
anxious
what the fuck does that mean?